Cluedo Calamities
by Sharkey52
Summary: What do the top rangers do when they're bored? Play board games of course! Throw in an over-excited Vatona, a grumpy Nage, a LOT of middle names and 'Mr Grey', and you get a crazy random one-shot.


******Okay. I know you all probably want to kill me for working on this instead of The Light and Darkness Chronicles or Protector of Silence, but I'm in a MAJOR mind blank stage. I've got ideas for both of them, but it's hard for me to get them down in writing.**

******Anyway, this other crazy one-shot came to mind when my friends and I were playing Cluedo. My friend Liberty owns Mr Grey and I don't own Pokémon or the Cluedo (or Clue, depending on where you live in the world) characters.**

* * *

All the rangers were sat on the floor of lab of the Ranger Union in a circle, staring down at the board game in front of them. Kellyn was shuffling the cards into three piles whilst Nage was searching the lab for seven pencils.

"So...is there a reason we have to play Cluedo of all games?" Keith asked.

"Because it's the only board game we have have besides Scrabble" Solana answered, dealing out the scratch sheets. Ben raised his hand.

"I don't understand why we're playing this" he said in a very nasal voice. He sneezed "Sorry."

"It's raining" Lunick answered bluntly, tilting his head in the direction of lab's window. Outside, the rain was so thick they couldn't even see the forest less than twenty metres away.

"Yeah, we could splash in puddles" Ben persisted, ever the childish one.

"Nuh-uh! Bad idea alert!" Kate shook her head "The last time we let you go outside when you had a cold you came down with hypothermia!" Ben pouted and folded his arms and legs.

"Only you would suggest we should splash in puddles, Ben" Kellyn snorted, not looking up from his card sorting.

"I think it's a great idea!" Vatona cheered from the other end of the lab.

"Yes, because you're a childish weirdo, 'Tona" Nage sighed, then handing Solana the seven pencils. "Why do you guys have to play in here again?"

"Thanks; because Sven and Wendy kicked us out of the common room" Solana answered, then glared at Keith and Ben.

"We weren't playing Pokémon Colosseum _that_ loudly" Keith insisted. Solana sighed and rolled her vermillion eyes. Whilst Nage retuned to his seat and began working again, Vatona spun around and sat forward on his seat in anticipation.

"Alright, we need to decide who's who" Solana told the others, pushing the player counters into the centre of the board.

"Oh! Oh! I'm being Mr Grey!" Lunick cried, waving his arm in the air like a school kid who knew the answer to a question.

"Wha? Lunick?" Solana blinked "There is no Mr Grey."

"Uh-huh! There is!" Lunick nodded eagerly, rooting around in the green box. "Here!" He held up what appeared to be a counter for a completely separate game covered in paper that was scribbled what might be grey and stuck on with a LOT of Sellotape. On top, written in Keith's very messy handwriting, was the name Mr. Grey.

"Er...fine" Solana sighed "You take Mr Grey. Summer, who do you want to be?" She looked over at Summer when the brunette didn't answer. She frowned when she saw Summer had her eyes closed and her earplugs in, bobbing her head in time to the music playing on her blue iPod nano balancing on her right knee. Ben sighed and pushed the stop button on the iPod's dial. Shrieking with surprise, Summer opened her brown eyes and looked about frantically. Finally, her eyes settled on Ben.

"What was that for?!" she demanded, placing her hands on her hips, then she looked around. "Huh? How did I get in here?"

"Your song made you completely zone out, so Lunick carried you in here" Ben answered "And Solana just asked you what counter you wanted."

"Oh, Mr Grey" Summer answered immediately. Solana blinked. Was she the only one who didn't know about this elusive 'Mr Grey'?

"Lunick bagsied him" Ben chipped in quickly "You need to pick someone else."

"Er..." Summer put a finger to her chin, scanning the pieces. Her gaze settled on the one nearest to her. "I'll have Colonel Mustard."

"No way! I always have Colonel Mustard!" Ben protested.

"Uh-uh! Not this time you don't!"

They locked glares. Then, before anyone could do anything, they both pounced forwards like cats and began wrestling over the counter.

Rolling his eyes at his younger colleagues' immaturity, Keith reached forward for the counter named Reverend Green. The second he grabbed a hold of it, someone else's hand touched it. A tingle ran up Keith's spine as he followed the other arm up to it's owner. Kate raised a tawny eyebrow at him. On her other side, Keith saw the brown hairs on the back of Kellyn's neck stick up, something that happened whenever he sensed a potential fight. Keith ignored him and looked back at Kate's pale blue orbs.

"I believe I got to that first" he said defiantly, tightening his grip on the counter.

"Hey! Ever heard of ladies first!" Kate complained. Her grip tightened.

"Manners don't work with me Katie" Keith responded, pulling the counter towards him.

"Don't call me that! And anyway, I saw it first" Kate pulled the counter towards her.

"No! I did!"

"I did!"

"I did!"

"I did!"

By this point they were pulling the counter back and forth in a some-what tug-of-war competition.

"Stop it!" Keith growled.

"You stop it!" Kate protested.

"Both of you stop it!" Kellyn cut in between them, prying the counter out of their hands. Kellyn wasn't as strong as either of them, in particular Keith, but his sudden intervention had surprised them into loosening their grips. "Stop squabbling over something as trival as a piece of plastic! Kate, you're a girl, so choose a female character! Keith, you can have Professor Plum!"

"Awwww! But he's boring!" Keith protested "Why can I have someone cool, like Mr Greenie, or that mustard guy?!" Kellyn, finally snapping, with lightning-quick speed, bonked Keith on the head with his fist. Since he was relative small and light for his age, Kellyn's blow didn't do much; but it was still enough to make Keith yowl with pain and nurse his head.

"One, because you're a childish idiot with no manners" Kellyn answered, crawling back to his place on the other side of Kate "Second, because I'm having Reverend Green since that's my favourite colour. And third, you can't have Colonel Mustard because to do that you'd have to tussle with those two." With that, he pointed at Ben and Summer. The two were fighting like cats, kicking, punching and clawing at each other, the yellow counter briefly forgotten and standing innocently in front of them.

"Can I be Miss Peacock?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, sure" Solana pushed the blue counter over to the tawny-haired girl "I'll be Miss Scarlet. And that leaves..." Her gaze trailed over to Ben and Summer. Ben had Summer's neck in a death grip whilst Summer was letting her fits fly at an unbelievable speed.

"Alright! Break it up you two!" Solana called to them, but her voice was drowned out by the screeching and yelling of Ben and Summer. She looked at Lunick, who had finally stopped acting like a complete child due to his victory on getting Mr Grey, who nodded back. The two of them made their way over to Summer and Ben and physically separated them. Lunick dragged Ben back by his hair whilst Solana was left with the unfortunate and painful task of dealing with Summer. Thankfully, the brunette had left her knife, bat and possibly gun collection back in her room, so all Solana had to worry about was Summer's sharp, painted nails and Kung-fu fighting skills.

"Seriously! Settle down!" Lunick took it upon himself to scold his juniors since Solana was a bit too busy trying to stay out of the infirmary. "You're acting like kids in the school playground back at Ranger School! Can't you guys settle this peacefully?!"

Ben and Summer stopped struggling and sighed.

"Summer, can you please just be a girl character?" Ben groaned.

"No!" protested Summer in a half-pout.

"Why?!" Ben complained.

"Because all the girl characters are boring!" Summer answered. Then her brown eyes lit up with hope. "If I let you be Colonel Mustard, will you go out with me?"

"Done!" Ben grabbed the yellow counter. Keith and Kate looked at each other and raised an eyebrow each in a 'What kind of deal was that?' look. Maybe the two most junior rangers had spent too much time in that tropical paradise amongst all the romantic settings down south - known more commonly as Oblivia.

"So who does that leave me with?" Summer asked.

"Um, Miss White I think" Solana answered, letting go of Summer's collar now she and her partner had stopped fighting. Summer folded her arms and pouted again.

"But she's a creepy old lady!" Summer protested.

"She's the only one left" Lunick informed her "And the reason is you spent too long brawling with Ben." Summer scowled at her partner for a second before placing Miss White's counter on the starting tile. Everyone slid back to their original places.

"I already know who did it with what and where!" Vatona announced wisely as he watched Kellyn deal out the cards. Kellyn sighed.

"Vatona, that's just because I let you put the cards in the confidential envelope" he sighed '___A decision I'm already starting to regret_.'

"That doesn't change the fact that I know!" Vatona grinned proudly. Sitting at his seat, Nage rolled his eyes at his older twin brother's antics. Key word: older.

"Whatever you say" Kellyn decided to give up "Just don't tell anyone else - it'll ruin the game." Vatona pretended to zip his mouth shut in a childlike manner and sat on his chair, cross-legged with his hands in his lap, leaning forward so he could watch the game.

"Who goes first?" Kate asked.

"Oldest usually" Lunick answered.

"Hmph! You just want that so you can go first!" Summer snapped.

"No, Summer, I merely suggested it because that how's you usually play" Lunick told her calmly.

"Uh-uh! Don't give me the 'what are you going on about?' look!" The reply was shot back "You always want first dips on anything we do!"

"She's got a point" Solana pointed out. Lunick frowned with disapproval at his partner before turning his gaze back to Summer.

"Alright Summer, do you want to go first?" Lunick asked.

"Nah, I'd like to watch some others go first" Summer shook her head "How about we go in order alphabetically?" Immediately Keith and Kate said in unison:

"All the Almian rangers' names start with K."

"Ah" Summer had apparently not thought of this "Well, sort out your order based on the second letter of your names." Kate nodded thoughtfully, apparently realising she would be going first. But Kellyn and Keith immediately said:

"Both our names have the same second letter."

"Last names then!" Summer rolled her brown eyes. Keith cheered at this. Kellyn and Kate raised their hands.

"Both our last names start with H" they said.

"Ah! Middle names then!" Summer had two locks of her hair in a death grip from frustration. The three Almian rangers considered this for a few moments.

"Wait, you guys all have middle names?" Lunick blinked.

"Er, well, I don't know about those guys, but mine's Emily" Kate said. She groaned "My little cousins call me by it all the time!"

"Welcome to my world" Kellyn sighed, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

"Mine's Leo" Keith announced "Do you have one Kellyn?" Kellyn bit the corner of his lip and muttered something incoherent.

"Speak up Kellyn, we can't hear ya!" Keith prompted. Kellyn mumbled the same word as before, just a litter louder. "We're loosing ya, Kel!" Kellyn, now very annoyed, mumbled again. Even Kate, who was sitting next to him, was having a hard time un-jumbling the muffled syllables. "Let me guess, you don't actually have a..."

"Lennie, alright!" Kellyn finally snapped. Keith blinked and then burst out laughing, Vatona following suit. Ben looked like he was finding it hard not to do the same, but then just gave in.

"Lennie?" Kate repeated, raising a tawny eyebrow.

"Well, it's not exactly my middle name" Kellyn shook his head "I used to not like my first name, Kellyn, since it's a girl's name as well. So a lot of old family friends used to call me Lennie, the longer form of 'Lyn'. And now they still call me Lennie."

"I don't think it's so bad" Summer shot him an encouraging smile "It suits you."

"I'll take that as a compliment" Kellyn murmurred.

"Why exactly are you being so nice now Summer?" asked Kate in surprise.

"I simply understand how little Lennie feels" Summer answered, earning a glare fom Kellyn "I mean, try having the middle name Catarina." Summer shivered.

"Ah" Lunick nodded with understanding "Well, since nobody else has noticed, I believe both Keith and Kellyn's second names start with the same letter."

"What!" Summer looked flabbergasted "Is there anything about you three that you don't have in common with another ranger?" Kellyn and Kate considered this, then shook their heads. Summer sweatdropped.

"Seriously guys, that just a little creepy" Solana commented "I mean are you guys li..." She broke off and glared at Vatona who was still cracking up. "Vat! put a sock in it!" But Vatona didn't listen to her.

"Tona! If you don't shut up I'll drag you out of the lab and you won't be able to watch them play!" Nage growled at his older brother and he immediately stopped laughing "Got that, Alvin?" Vatona flinched at what appeared to his middle name.

"Yeah I got that" Vatona nodded "Lucas." Nage glared at him for a second before he turned back to his work.

"Anyway" Lunick tried to direct the conversation back to it's start. "Any ideas how we should play, Keith?" He directed his blue gaze onto the ginger rolling on the floor. At the mention of his name, Keith immediately sat up.

"Who me?" he asked "Um..." He out a finger to his chin. "Awesomeness!" Keith punched the air.

"And how do we measure '___awesomeness_' exactly?" Solana asked.

"Simple" Keith grinned "I'm the most awesome, then my partner-in-crime Ben, then Summer and her karate moves, then Lunick, then you Solana, then Kate and finally Lennie."

"It's Kellyn! And why am I at the bottom of the list?" Kellyn snapped.

"Lennie, Lennie, Lennie" Keith sighed and shook his head "No one awesome keeps years worth of newspapers stacked neatly on bookshelves framing their bedrooms!"

"They're for research purposes!" Kellyn insisted.

"Still doesn't make you awesome" Keith shot him a smile. Kellyn grunted.

"Fine, fine" he sighed "I'll go last. Keith, you start."

Smiling smugly, Keith snatched the dice in the middle. He rolled them.

"Six and Five" Keith read "So that equals...er..." The ginger put a finger to his temple, looking like it was really straining his very small brain to think of the answer to the toddler-stage sum.

"Eleven?" Kate offered. Keith snapped his fingers together.

"Eleven! That's exactly what I was going to say!" he grinned. Kate face palmed. Keith slid Professor Plum's counter over eleven tiles into his favourite room.

"The library..." he groaned "Oh fine! Er..." He looked at his scratch sheet "Um...I think it was...Mr Greenie..." He picked up Kellyn's counter and plopped it in the library? "...In the library with the..." He looked at the silver weapon pieces in the centre of the board "...torch."

"Huh?" Kate blinked "What are you going on about Keith? There's no torch."

"Yes there is" Keith replied determinedly.

"Er, no there isn't" Kellyn told him firmly.

"Well what's this then?" Keith asked, holding up a tiny silver weapon.

"That's a candlestick you ninny!" Kellyn and Kate both yelled at him in unison. Keith cringed and put the candlestick in the library with Reverend Green.

"Well sor-ry for not reading up on the game before we started!" Keith snorted "Yeah, so, Greenie, Library and candlestick. Any bidders?" Ben and Summer shook their heads.

Lunick sighed, plucked a card out of his hand and handed it face-down over to Keith. The ginger pulled off his jacket and threw it over his head and the card, hiding it from view. A few seconds later, he removed it from his head and gave Lunick back his card.

"Next" Solana said. Ben picked up the dice and threw them, a little overboard.

"Ow!" Kellyn grabbed his forehead where the dice had hit him.

"Sorry" Ben apologised, then looked at the dice "Er, Summer..." He looked at his partner. She boggled at him.

"Ben! That's 3 plus 2!" she exclaimed. Ben blinked "5!" Ben nodded with understanding. He moved his counter five tiles and...

"Ah man!" Ben buried his fingers in his wind blown hair "I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere!"

"My go" Summer shook her head and threw the dice "Yeah! 12!" She slid the counter along the winding path of tiles into the nearest room. "Okay, so, I think it was...Miss Peacock," She dragged Kate's counter into the room "In the kitchen with...the spanner." She dragged the silver object into the kitchen.

"How do you kill someone with a ___spanner_?" Lunick frowned.

"Hit them over the head I guess" Kate shrugged.

"But why would you kill someone with a spanner in the ___kitchen_?" Lunick pointed out "I mean, if you killed someone with a ___knife_ in the kitchen, it would make sense. If you killed someone with a spanner in a workshop or a garage, that too would make sense. But a___spanner_ in the ___kitchen_?"

"Maybe it was the nearest available weapon?" Solana suggested.

"What was a spanner doing in the kitchen?" Lunick asked.

"Hmmm...maybe they were fixing the fridge?" Keith suggested.

"But why would they...?"

"Lunick! It's Cluedo! Stop trying to make sense of it!" Summer shut him up "Any evidence?" Keith slid Summer a card which she slid back and marked on her scratch card. Lunick picked up the dice.

"Wait, where does Mr Grey start from?" Solana asked, curious about this allusive assailant under the name of Grey.

"The stairs in the middle" Lunick explained, rubbing the dice between his palms. He dropped them onto the board "5 and 4...9." He slid Mr Grey into the same room as two other counters "Okay, so, I think it was Reverend Green in the library with the...rope." He place the plastic item in the library and put the candlestick back in the middle of the board, out the way. Solana showed a card to Lunick, then hid it again as he marked something on his scratch sheet. Vatona took a breath and opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't you dare Vat!"

"Keep your trap shut Tona!"

Cringing at Kellyn and Nage's comments, Vatona hugged his knees to his chest and continued to watch the game in silence.

Solana rolled the dice and it came up on 6 and 2.

"Right" Solana nodded "Well, I think the weapon was the revolver in the lounge and the culprit was..." She looked around and saw Keith waving his hands above his head in an effort to attract her attention "Flagging a bus Keith?"

"Er...no" Keith promptly sat on his hands. Solana rolled her eyes.

"And I think the culprit was Miss Scarlet" Solana finished, causing Keith to 'collapse' to the floor.

"Wait, did you just accuse yourself?" Ben raised an eyebrow. Solana nodded wisely and looked expectantly around the group. Kellyn showed her a card and then hide it from Kate's probing eyes.

Kate, Kellyn and Keith took their goes and they were all relatively normally, except Kate got stuck in the corridor between the living room and the dinning room. Finally, Ben got his go.

"FINALLY!" he cheered nasally upon entering the room "So, I think it was Miss Scarlet..." he dragged Solana's counter from the conservatory into the room Colonel Mustard was in "In the dining room with the lead pipe. Any evidence?" Lunick slid Ben a card and he frowned, raising it towards the light.

"I didn't ask for an oblong" Ben frowned.

"What?" Summer peeked at the card "That's not on oblong you idiot! It's a room!"

"It is?" Ben blinked "I dunno. It kinda looks like a bed to me..."

"Stop being a dingbat Ben!" Summer was seething with anger "Just accept it's a dinning room!" Ben looked nervously at the grumpy stares directed in the Oblivian rangers' direction.

"I think you just did something wrong" he commented, handing the card back to Lunick. Summer looked around and saw very cross people crossing things off on their scratch cards.

"Oops" was all she said. She then picked up the dice and threw them. It landed on 5 and 3.

"Okee Dokey" Summer smiled "I think it was...Professor Plum," To Keith's upset astonishment, she moved the purple counter into the room Miss White was currently in "In the living room with the rope. Evidence please." Everyone looked at each other and shook their heads. Summer grinned.

"Yippee!" she cheered "I win!"

"Huh?" Ben blinked, snapping out of a daze "How can you win if I have Professor Plum right here?" He held up a card. Immediately Summer was a Ben's throat.

"BEN YOU IDIOT!" she roared "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SHOW THAT CARD WHEN I ASKED YOU FOR IT!"

"WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? I'VE NEVER PLAYED THIS GAME BEFORE! ACHOOOOOO! Sorry..."

"YUCK! YOU JUST SNEEZED ALL OVER ME!"

This became a fully-fledged roaring competition that was only broken up by Nage threatening to throw them all out of the lab and physically kicking Ben out for effect. Eventually, the two quarrellers sat down, glaring at each other and not blinking.

"...Is this a good or bad time to mention I have the rope?" Keith squeaked, his knees drawn to his chest and his brown eyes peeking over them.

"..."

"...Lunick, please throw the dice."

Lunick quickly obeyed Solana's order. Several rounds went by, and eventually Summer and Ben got into the game enough to stop glaring at each other. It was going well...until Kellyn's fifth turn came.

"So, an eleven" Kellyn looked at the dice, then his counter in the lounge, then his scratch sheet "Hmmmmm... Hmmmmmm..."

* * *

**Ten minutes later...**

"...Hmmmmm..."

Kellyn was still staring at his scratch sheet, unblinking. By now, everyone else had resulted to other activities. Solana was texting Leilani on her styler. Lunick was bouncing a pingpong ball attached to a paddle onto the latter object. Summer was listening to her iPod with her earplugs in again. Ben was playing on his Nintendo DS. Keith was lying on his back, snoring and apparently asleep. Kate was attempting to rip some mechanical device apart with her screwdriver.

"...Hmmmm..." Kellyn finally blinked and looked up "You know, I think I'm gonna..."

"My partner here is going to do what he always does after her stares at his scratch sheet for more than ten minutes" Kate finished "Which is take the secret passage to the conservatory and accuse himself with an object already in his hand." She moved Reverend Green into the conservatory. Kellyn blinked as everyone began to come round.

"Am I really that predictable?" he asked.

"Yup" Kate nodded, elbowing Keith awake. Kellyn shrugged and move the dagger into the conservatory, sliding the lead pipe out of the room.

"Reverend Green in the conservatory with the dagger, anyone?" he asked. Lunick slid him a card that he noted down before giving back. Keith took the dice and was about to roll it when suddenly a very fast voice glabbled:

"It was Colonel Mustard in the billiard room with the revolver."

"Vatona!"


End file.
